Are Black Men Getting Married?

Are Black Men Getting Married?

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about “Black Women NOT being married”…….Why?

 1)    Standards are too high 

2)    Black Man shortage 

 3)    Less likely to date outside their race 

 4)    Too bossy (whatever!) 

 5)    Aggressive attitude 

 6)    Black men are in prison, gay or dead 

Those are just a few reasons, which I have heard; why Black Women are not or never have been married? I would like to add to the list; “Maybe some Black Women do not want to get married”.  Because they do not want to deal with: 

 1)    Infidelity 

 2)    Physical or verbal abuse 

 3)    Sharing their time with someone 

 4)    Sharing their space with someone 

 5)    Thinking about another person’s feelings 

 6)    Taking care of a man physically and/or financially

Anyway, I now have a new question?  If Black Women are not getting married, is it safe to say, “That Black Men are not getting married and if they are, who are they marrying? 

 So, I started to do a little research on the percentage of Black Men who are married and who they are actually marrying?  

Well, let me start of by saying, finding these stats were not easy.  I kept finding sites on; The Black Men in Prison and Black Men Marrying White Women.  

But, I finally got lucky and found a few sites, answering my questions.  

1)    http://www.essence.com  (Relationship Commentary: The Black Man Shortage by: Demetria L. Lucas). 

Esscence.com had a very interesting story.  What is with all the talk about BLACK WOMEN not being married?  “This is a problem in all races”.   As the author of this story recalls; remember Sex and the City???  “This is a problem not only with the African American women, but all women”.  She also states, “51% of Latina woman are unmarried, so are 45% of non-Hispanic White women, and 41% of Asian women”. 

2)     http://www.mediatakeout.com/ by Rev Billy bob 

A few more  interesting facts. 

In 1950 62% of all African American women were married.
In 1950 64% of all African American men were married.
In 2000 36% of all African American women were married.
In 2000 43% of all African American men were married. 

93% of black men, who do marry, choose to marry Black Women

3)    http://www.tiredblackman.com/ (“Don’t believe the hype” by Tim Alexander) 

This is an insert from the article, in which I thought was worth sharing.  42 percent of Black Men were married, compared with 31 percent of Black Women. In contrast, 10 percent of Black women were widowed, compared with 3 percent of Black men.
9.5 percent of Black Men were divorced and 12.8 percent of Black women
4.4 percent of Black Men were separated and 5.9 percent of Black women
41.6 percent of Black Men never married and 39.7 percent of Black women 

That was a lot to take in.  I believe the problem is not a “Marriage Problem”, I believe we have a “Relationship Problem”.  Let’s focus on having a Good Relationships first. 

We as a society are not “Relationship Savvy”. We do not have ‘Relationship skills’ to overcome conflict as we move through the stages of our relationships. We may have unrealistic expectations as to how a relationship should flow. My suggestion is to talk to someone other than our friends.  Our friends will probably think just as we do and sometimes we need a different perspective to see things clearly. 

Lesson for today: 

‘Let’s spend less time planning the wedding day and more time planning our lives together” 

Live, Love and Laugh Often 

Charlette Marie 

FYI:  views and opinions expressed on these sites do not necessarily express the views and opinions of Charlette Marie.

12 year old boy kills young woman.

I just heard that a 12 year old boy shot and killed a young lady. This is so SAD, for everyone involved. My prayers go out to both families. I can not seem to find the full story on this. Those of you, who have followed me thus far on this subject, know how I feel about this!!

So, my question is?

What should happen to this 12 year little old? What are your thoughts?

Should He:
1) Go to prison?
2) Spend life in prison without the possibility of parole (LWOP)?
3) Have to attend some form of intense counseling?
4) Have his parents be liable?
5) Spend time in the juvenile system until he is 18yrs. or 21yrs. old?
6) or all the above?

Once I find out the entire story, I will share my view on this.

Live, Love and Laugh Often,
Charlette Marie

The Incarceration System

After working in the prison system, facilitating relationship classes; I came across what I called “‘The Forgotten Souls”.    This was the group of individuals who had committed a crime  and in most cases the crime resulted in someone being killed.  A life was taken, I understand that, but to have an individual who was at the time only 15 – 19 years of age (some younger) to spend life in prison WITHOUT the possibly of parole, is  not the answer to correct the wrong.    

Those are just my thoughts….

I will continue in much greater detail at a later date.

Live, Love and Laugh

Charlette

The Education System

Why are our children not learning to their fullest potential?  Why are schools not preparing our children for real world experiences?  Why are so many children dropping out of school?  These are questions I have asked myself and others.   And, the only answer I seem to get is, MONEY!   But, is that really the answer???

I believe the problem(s) are surrounded by how our children are being educated.  Check out some of these facts just in Michigan alone:

Michigan Schools Drop-Out rates (2007-2008) – for a complete list please visit http://www.michigan.gov

Birmingham – 1.35%

Bloomfield Hills – .084%

Clawson – 4.62%

Dearborn – 14.60%

Detroit – 27.08%

East Detroit – 17.33%

Farmington – 7.9%

Ferndale – 36.64%

Highland Park – 41.85%

Novi – 3.2%

Oak Park – 19.59%

We as parents/teachers and authority figures need to be outrage by these numbers.  Well, my suggestion is, first figuring out how to educate our children differently.  School was Boring when I was in school and it is still Boring. 

 The school system is only focusing on 2 intelligences (logical Mathematical and Linguistic):

Logical Mathematical – Math Smarts

Linguistic – Word Smarts

So, if your child is not smart in the areas of Math and English…Guess what? …. Your child is going to be the student who is being label as ADD (attention deficits disorder), ADHD (attention deficits -hyperactive disorder), ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), OCD (oppositional conduct disorder and/or other learning disabilities.   

I believe Multiple Intelligence should be introduced into our schools.   All children should be educated, not just a selected few.   Please check out these websites for more information on Multiple Intelligence. www.Ldpride.net  and www.thomasarmstrong.com.   

 Question: Why hasn’t the Michigan Department of Education figured this out yet?

The Family System

I have a question?   

And, before I ask it..I just want to say “I’m not a male basher”  and that is not what this post is about.

Why are there some many ‘little boys’ walking around in men bodies?    I say that with the up-most respect.   I really want to know?     The men I have been meeting lately are still wanting to play childish games.   Why is it so hard for the So Called Men of today; to say what they mean, and mean what they say?                                                                                                                                                                          (Not only to me,but to all the women in their lives..mothers,grandmothers,daughters,sisters,aunts)

It’s just a question?

I will have a lot more to say on this subject very soon!

Live, Love and Laugh

Charlette