Check out my new website!!!

Check me out on wwww.blogtalkradio.com/conversationalcorner on Saturdays between 7pm-8pm EST.   For Real Talk about Real Stuff!!!  SEE YOU THERE!

                                                                                          Also,

I’m in the final stages of creating my new website….THE CONVERSATIONAL CORNER.   This site will be about ALL that is important to me.  I’m planning on having an internet radio talk show on blog talk radio and have my shows featured on my new website: http://www.conversationalcorner.com

My show will be a platform to discuss issues that are affecting our families and relationships.  My goal is to collectively find the answers to creating a healthier and happier society. Topics such a relationships, education and of course the incarceration system will be addressed.    Visit me http://www.conversationalcorner.com and of my new Internet radio show at www.blogtalkradio.com/conversationalcorner

Until then, be true to you.

Something Different!!

I guess you could say “I had what is known as Writer’s Block”!!    I felt as though I was in a cocoon.  And, during that time in which I was emerged within myself, I knew something wonderful would happen because of it.  I could not put my finger on it ‘per say’, But, I knew I was being cultivated for something different.

And, with that said, I’m currently working on something I feel very passionate about  and really enjoy.  So, in time I will share my new journey with you soon. 

Till Then,

Live, Love and Laugh Often

Charlette

Where Is The Money?

 Today’s thought is about Child Support. 

I’m so confused why some men do not pay child support?  My son’s father is almost $70.000 behind in child support payments.  I have even sought out the assistance of one of those companies that suppose to help you receive child support. (Can’t remember the name).  However, to date my son still has not received monies owed to him.  It has been at least 6 years since I had initiated contact with this company. …..and nothing!

What is so mind-boggling, is how the child support laws are not being enforced…at least, in my state (Michigan).  My son’s father has come up with every excuse in the book; as to why he cannot or will not pay child support?  His has made excuses ranging from unemployment; for the last 13 years, to being schizophrenic. And based on his actions the last several years, he may have some form of a mental disorder.  There is really no other explanation as to how anyone would choose to 1) not be a part of their child’s live and 2) not feel remotely obligated to help support them.

Currently, my son’s father is classified as a felon due to unpaid child support.  I believe $5.000 or more was the dollar amount to petition to the court to pursue felony charges against him.  And even with that, my son’s father is still beating the system.  He is on probation and has a parole officer, but nothing is being done to enforce the laws that are already in place.

As I have said before, the Friend of the Court is no friend, especially to our children.  In addition, I would like to say a few words to those men who are so worried about where the money is going? 

It takes a lot of money to raise a child. The following is just the short list:

1)     Food

2)     Clothes(spring,winter,fall and summer)

3)     Daycare or after school child care

4)     Medical Insurance (monthly or yearly premiums, Doctor visit co pay’s)

5)     After school activities (Sports, Dance, YMCA, Tutoring etc.)

6)     School breakfasts and/or lunches)

7)     In school activities and field trips  

8)     Shoes (I’m not counting the $100 gym shoes that most kid’s are requesting)

9)     Haircuts

10)  Essentials (deodorant, hair products, lotions)

11)  School supplies

12)  Misc. – Fun Stuff (Video Games, CD’s, Xbox, Cell Phones, IPods, PlayStation, Wii etc.)

13)  Weekend activities with friends (movies, going to the mall, skating, etc.)

14) And, Housing (bedrooms, heat, electric and water etc.) – more of EVERYTHING is used with extra people

 

Of course, this list will become bigger and more expensive as the child gets older.

My question is what could make anyone; Man or Woman choose to not contribute to the upbringing of their child?  WTH!!!!

But, to end this on a positive note.

The statement of the day and a lesson for my life!

Let’s commit to learning more about ourselves (likes, dislikes, wants, needs) and then learn more about the person who we are sexually involved with, before we go all ‘CRAZY’, reproducing more uncertainty in the world.

For more information about pursuing felony charges against the non-custodian parent who is excessively behind in child support payments; contact your local Friend of the Court.  Every situation is different. Your actions may prompt movement of money in your direction.   Good Luck!

Live, Love and Laugh Often

Charlette Marie

Are Black Men Getting Married?

Are Black Men Getting Married?

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about “Black Women NOT being married”…….Why?

 1)    Standards are too high 

2)    Black Man shortage 

 3)    Less likely to date outside their race 

 4)    Too bossy (whatever!) 

 5)    Aggressive attitude 

 6)    Black men are in prison, gay or dead 

Those are just a few reasons, which I have heard; why Black Women are not or never have been married? I would like to add to the list; “Maybe some Black Women do not want to get married”.  Because they do not want to deal with: 

 1)    Infidelity 

 2)    Physical or verbal abuse 

 3)    Sharing their time with someone 

 4)    Sharing their space with someone 

 5)    Thinking about another person’s feelings 

 6)    Taking care of a man physically and/or financially

Anyway, I now have a new question?  If Black Women are not getting married, is it safe to say, “That Black Men are not getting married and if they are, who are they marrying? 

 So, I started to do a little research on the percentage of Black Men who are married and who they are actually marrying?  

Well, let me start of by saying, finding these stats were not easy.  I kept finding sites on; The Black Men in Prison and Black Men Marrying White Women.  

But, I finally got lucky and found a few sites, answering my questions.  

1)    http://www.essence.com  (Relationship Commentary: The Black Man Shortage by: Demetria L. Lucas). 

Esscence.com had a very interesting story.  What is with all the talk about BLACK WOMEN not being married?  “This is a problem in all races”.   As the author of this story recalls; remember Sex and the City???  “This is a problem not only with the African American women, but all women”.  She also states, “51% of Latina woman are unmarried, so are 45% of non-Hispanic White women, and 41% of Asian women”. 

2)     http://www.mediatakeout.com/ by Rev Billy bob 

A few more  interesting facts. 

In 1950 62% of all African American women were married.
In 1950 64% of all African American men were married.
In 2000 36% of all African American women were married.
In 2000 43% of all African American men were married. 

93% of black men, who do marry, choose to marry Black Women

3)    http://www.tiredblackman.com/ (“Don’t believe the hype” by Tim Alexander) 

This is an insert from the article, in which I thought was worth sharing.  42 percent of Black Men were married, compared with 31 percent of Black Women. In contrast, 10 percent of Black women were widowed, compared with 3 percent of Black men.
9.5 percent of Black Men were divorced and 12.8 percent of Black women
4.4 percent of Black Men were separated and 5.9 percent of Black women
41.6 percent of Black Men never married and 39.7 percent of Black women 

That was a lot to take in.  I believe the problem is not a “Marriage Problem”, I believe we have a “Relationship Problem”.  Let’s focus on having a Good Relationships first. 

We as a society are not “Relationship Savvy”. We do not have ‘Relationship skills’ to overcome conflict as we move through the stages of our relationships. We may have unrealistic expectations as to how a relationship should flow. My suggestion is to talk to someone other than our friends.  Our friends will probably think just as we do and sometimes we need a different perspective to see things clearly. 

Lesson for today: 

‘Let’s spend less time planning the wedding day and more time planning our lives together” 

Live, Love and Laugh Often 

Charlette Marie 

FYI:  views and opinions expressed on these sites do not necessarily express the views and opinions of Charlette Marie.

Martin Luther King , Jr. Day

Go to work  or not to go to work today??????              

That is the question?

Today is MLK day, and I’m at work!

OK!

To work at work or not to work at work today? 

Now, that is the real question???

Which ever the case, take some time to think about Mr. Martin Luther King Jr. Today!

Live, Love and Laugh Often

Charlette Marie

A LifeLine For Haiti

Lets take a moment to think of and pray for everyone effected by the devastation in Haiti.   And, if you would like to do more, please take a look at the following emails I received:

Switchboard of Miami, Inc. anticipates both an increased call volume and need for community mental health outreach.  Needed are short-term volunteers and interns with backgrounds in mental health, social work, psychology and/or psychiatry to answer incoming calls and to assist with special community mental needs related to the earthquake in Haiti.  Those interested should call or email Carolyn Broughton 305-358-1640 x 159 or cbroughton@switchboardmiami.org.

Maryllis Baluja
Resource Coordinator
AIRS Certificed Resource Specialist (CRS)
Switchboard Of Miami
701 SW 27th Avenue, Suite 1000
Miami FL 33135
Tel: (305) 358-1640 x148
Fax: (305) 377-2269

24-Hour HELPline: (305) 358-4357 or 211
TTY: (305) 644-9449 or 211, opt 4

#########################################################

Lifeline Colleagues:

In the wake of the devastating events in Haiti, Switchboard of Miami passed the request for volunteers below onto the Lifeline. If any of your volunteers are willing and able to provide Switchboard with any support, please contact Carolyn Broughton at the number below.

While much of the current need for U.S. Haitian populations is to gain information about the safety and whereabouts of any loved ones they may have there, they may also be experiencing concomitant anxiety and acute stress reactions. In addition, constant images on the news of the terrible suffering there may also be affecting unrelated persons with a history of trauma, including those who have themselves witnessed and survived a disaster in their lifetime. Abundant research shows that disasters and recent traumatic events can trigger re-experiencing of previous traumas, which can be terribly disorienting to such individuals who can’t explain why something that happened in Haiti is bringing up these thoughts and feelings now. It is important for your hotline helpers to be aware of this phenomenon, in case they hear more of these types of complaints from the callers on your various hotlines.

Please feel free to consult and tell your hotline helpers about the Lifeline wallet card, “Tips for Disaster Survivors”, found on our Lifeline materials page of the web site: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/Materials/Default.aspx

Another important resource for talking with individuals who are coping with traumatic events can be found on the CDC web site:
http://www.bt.cdc.gov/masscasualties/copingpub.asp

In the longer term, it is likely that the United States will see a significant influx of surviving Haitians over the coming months. A good number will likely be experiencing mental health issues, beyond the already challenging acculturation issues experienced by immigrants. Cities and states that already house a good number of Haitian immigrants will likely see more joining them. Here is a breakdown of current Haitian population distributions in the U.S.:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haitian immigration to the United States and Canada#New York City

Again, please see the message from Carolyn above and pass on to volunteers that you think might be able and willing to assist their local efforts in Miami.

Warm regards,

John Draper, Ph.D.
Project Director
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
T: (212) 614-6309
T: (212) 614-6357

National Suicide Prevention LifeLine
With Help Comes Hope
1-800-273-TALK
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.crisiscentersblog.com

If you are unable to download these sites, please copy and paste on your browser.

Live, Love and Laugh

Charlette Marie