Too Young To Have a “Difficult” Attitude

Well, over the weekend, my son said something very interesting to me.  Keep in mind he is only 13 years old. 

Out of nowhere, my son says, “this summer I’m only going to ‘date’ white girls”.  (I’m assuming ‘date’ means talk to on the phone or possibly meeting up at the mall)

Anyway I say, “really…… and Why?

He then says, “Black girls are too difficult”. 

 I say; really……and why do you say that?

He proceeds to give me an example.

“In school, if you see a black girl upset or something and you ask her what is wrong; she will say, none of your business and make an ugly face at you. But, if you see a white girl upset, and ask her what is wrong, she might say, nothing or something like that; without the attitude”

I thought that was very profound for a 13-year-old to notice. 

Because it is no secret, that black women are known to have a more “difficult attitude” then white women. My question or concern would be; why the attitude is starting so soon?  Is it the culture we live in, the role models or is it genetics?

Why are black girls (women) so difficult? 

As a black woman, I would say, the attitude comes from dating the wrong type of man and trying to change him into the right type of man.  And, during that time going through hell and back; all in the name of what we thought was love, only to do it again, with someone different.

That may explain the insanity, of the black women, but what is the explanation for the young black girls.

Just another question, I will explore in the weeks to come.

Until next time,

      Love and be loved,

          Charlette Marie

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Are you really available??

OK, this is day 3 of me really thinking about the lack of evolution surrounding our relationships.   

I have a lot going on right now, which has nothing to do with my relationships.  But, the more I think about it; maybe it does, because if I’m feeling stressed, frustrated and overwhelmed, it has to boil over somewhere; and normally, its spills out on to the ones closest to us.  Maybe, I should take a closer look at how my life is affecting those closest to me?  That’s what I really mean, when I say; “the lack of evolution surrounding our relationships”.

When I speak about relationships; I’m speaking in terms of ALL types of relationships. 

Family relationships; Workplace relationships; Neighborhood /Community relationships and of course the relationship, we have with ourselves.  I’m going to examine all aspects of relationships and try to expose the necked truth as to why our relationships are in such a distorted dysfunctional reality? And, ultimately; bring about awareness and a consciousness for all us to put more effort into creating healthier more loving relationships.

Yesterday, I mentioned, that I had met this guy who wanted to be VERY available to me, within 3 days.  I told him, the next man I choose to be with, MUST be available.   I always seem to attract men that are unavailable, either emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically.  So, when this most recent guy, was trying to be VERY available to me, why did it turn me off????   It was just too much, too soon!!   

So, I guess the real question is, “Do I really want a man to be available to me???  Or was he just not my type”?

This is what some men would say is the problem.  That some women do not know what they want?  But, I wouldn’t say “that at all”. 

 I know what I want…..I just, want…. What I want….. When I want it!!!

 Am I spoiled, or am I exercising my God-given right.

 Only, time will tell!

Until next time,

     Love and Be Loved,

              Charlette Marie

What Type Of Lover Are You?

What type of lover are you?

1) The “Duck-and-Weave Lover”: This is the lover; that has no idea what they are doing, but they think they do.

2) The “Pogo-Stick Lover”: This is the lover; that is moving all over the place, but not in the right place.

3) The “Kitchen-Countertop Lover”: This is the lover that is down for whatever; anywhere and anytime.

4) The “It’s-All-About-Me Lover”: This is the lover; that will go out of their way to please you; however, it is really all about their own enjoyment and not yours. (This one can be tricky)

5) The” Wanna-Be-Superman Lover”: This is the lover; that with a dose of Kryptonite they can be ALL That!

6) The “That-A-Boy or Girl Lover”: This is the lover; that needs a lot of encouraging words to perform at their fullest potential.

7) The “Here-We-Go-Again Lover”: This is the lover; that you could set your watch to. (you always know what is coming next).

8) The “Do-Over Lover”: This is the lover; that think the second time around will be really, really better.

9) The “Say-What-You-Mean and Mean What You Say-Lover”: This is the lover; that talked a good game, but did not or could not back it up.

10) The “Toe-Twisting Lover”: This is the lover; that seems to have magical powers.

Good relationships are not all about the type of ‘loving’ you are getting or not getting. There are other variables that make a good relationship….Trust, Honesty, Faithfulness, Compatibility, Ability to effectively communicate with one another, Intimacy etc. And, if you can laugh out loud together, that is half the battle.

Lesson For Today:
Good lovers can be those partners that we are emotionally and mentally attracted to.

Live, Love and Laugh Often
Charlette Marie