Are you really available??

OK, this is day 3 of me really thinking about the lack of evolution surrounding our relationships.   

I have a lot going on right now, which has nothing to do with my relationships.  But, the more I think about it; maybe it does, because if I’m feeling stressed, frustrated and overwhelmed, it has to boil over somewhere; and normally, its spills out on to the ones closest to us.  Maybe, I should take a closer look at how my life is affecting those closest to me?  That’s what I really mean, when I say; “the lack of evolution surrounding our relationships”.

When I speak about relationships; I’m speaking in terms of ALL types of relationships. 

Family relationships; Workplace relationships; Neighborhood /Community relationships and of course the relationship, we have with ourselves.  I’m going to examine all aspects of relationships and try to expose the necked truth as to why our relationships are in such a distorted dysfunctional reality? And, ultimately; bring about awareness and a consciousness for all us to put more effort into creating healthier more loving relationships.

Yesterday, I mentioned, that I had met this guy who wanted to be VERY available to me, within 3 days.  I told him, the next man I choose to be with, MUST be available.   I always seem to attract men that are unavailable, either emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically.  So, when this most recent guy, was trying to be VERY available to me, why did it turn me off????   It was just too much, too soon!!   

So, I guess the real question is, “Do I really want a man to be available to me???  Or was he just not my type”?

This is what some men would say is the problem.  That some women do not know what they want?  But, I wouldn’t say “that at all”. 

 I know what I want…..I just, want…. What I want….. When I want it!!!

 Am I spoiled, or am I exercising my God-given right.

 Only, time will tell!

Until next time,

     Love and Be Loved,

              Charlette Marie

Is He ‘Feeling’ Me?

Well, my quest continues; as I try to unlock the mysteries of this thing we call “Relationships”.  I have a lot questions. Some that have been answered and some that have not.  I have been fascinated with the term ‘relationships’ for a long time.  It is fascinating to me, that we, men and women were put here to co-exist together…….. harmoniously, I would think? But, as we all know, most of us are not experiencing this harmonious way of living in a relationships.  I ‘am in search of answers to questions, old and new as to ‘why’ our ‘relationships ‘are struggling to stay alive.

I heard something today, which was very interesting to me.  I have heard it before, but for some reason today, it was like I heard it for the first time.   You know sometimes we have to hear things at different times, in different ways and from different people; before you actually ‘hear it’. 

Men don’t commit based on a time frame.  They commit based on a ‘Feeling of wanting to commit’. 

Key word there is “FEELING”… Well, who knew that?  It’s not about being with him for years and years or nagging him, giving him good sex, not giving him sex at all, breaking-up with him, only to go back at the end of night or making him jealous.  A man has to FEEL IT!!  And, for the record, he has to feel it, on his own.  There is nothing we can do to push it along.  Very interesting!

I was in a 10 year so-called relationship.  Looking back on it now, I was really in a relationship all by myself.  I can laugh at it now.  I tried every possible ‘game’ in the book, to get this man to commit.  I tried all of the above and some others. And, nothing worked.  Needless, to say, we are not together today. I got tired of trying to make something happen, which just was not going to happen.

Now, on the hand, I just meant a guy a week ago and he was ready to commit.  When I say, “he was ready to commit” he was ready within 3 days!!!! He was “Feeling” something!!!  But, I was not.  He wanted to explore getting to know each other, exclusively.   I have never heard of that!  I can see becoming exclusive, but not starting out a relationship exclusive.  What is that about?

Don’t get me wrong, I felt like that for the 10 year guy. I knew right away, I wanted to be him and only him.   It was a ‘feeling’.  It seems as though; women get the ‘feeling’ more often and sooner, then men. 

I guess another question would be? As women, how do we know the ‘feeling’ means “men want to commit to us or just have sex”?

I have a lot of work to do.

Until next time,

      Love and be loved

                Charlette Marie

What Type Of Lover Are You?

What type of lover are you?

1) The “Duck-and-Weave Lover”: This is the lover; that has no idea what they are doing, but they think they do.

2) The “Pogo-Stick Lover”: This is the lover; that is moving all over the place, but not in the right place.

3) The “Kitchen-Countertop Lover”: This is the lover that is down for whatever; anywhere and anytime.

4) The “It’s-All-About-Me Lover”: This is the lover; that will go out of their way to please you; however, it is really all about their own enjoyment and not yours. (This one can be tricky)

5) The” Wanna-Be-Superman Lover”: This is the lover; that with a dose of Kryptonite they can be ALL That!

6) The “That-A-Boy or Girl Lover”: This is the lover; that needs a lot of encouraging words to perform at their fullest potential.

7) The “Here-We-Go-Again Lover”: This is the lover; that you could set your watch to. (you always know what is coming next).

8) The “Do-Over Lover”: This is the lover; that think the second time around will be really, really better.

9) The “Say-What-You-Mean and Mean What You Say-Lover”: This is the lover; that talked a good game, but did not or could not back it up.

10) The “Toe-Twisting Lover”: This is the lover; that seems to have magical powers.

Good relationships are not all about the type of ‘loving’ you are getting or not getting. There are other variables that make a good relationship….Trust, Honesty, Faithfulness, Compatibility, Ability to effectively communicate with one another, Intimacy etc. And, if you can laugh out loud together, that is half the battle.

Lesson For Today:
Good lovers can be those partners that we are emotionally and mentally attracted to.

Live, Love and Laugh Often
Charlette Marie

What Type Of Lover Are You?

Listing will be posted soon????

I’m still thinking!!!

Live, Love and Laugh Often!!!

Charlette Marie